anali

by Anali Martinez @TheNuevaLatina


How life changed…for everyone else.

When I graduated from college with my B.S. in Civil Engineering I received about 350 likes on my Facebook post about it.

When I got engaged a couple of weeks ago, my post about my engagement received over 800 likes within 24 hours.

Don’t get me wrong. I am SUPER excited and already obsessed with wedding planning just because that is the kind of Type A person that I am. I am so in love and really do KNOW that Julian is my one and only.

But, I wish that being engaged didn’t begin to outshine my many accomplishments that I have earned up to this point in my life.

The worst part is that, for us, life isn’t really that different. We have been together 4 years and have lived together for 2 years. Life seemed to change more for the people around us.

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Mostly, it changed for all the women on my life. There are 4 different types of women I have encountered ever since getting engaged.

The Engaged or Recently Married.
People that had NEVER said a single word to me were suddenly interested in me. “Have you chosen a venue?” “When’s the wedding date?” “Do you know what kind of dress you want?” Why does a ring suddenly change how a person feels about you? This person has seen you around and made small talk with you every now and then. They have never had a full on conversation with you…until today. And they want to know EVERYTHING about the engagement, the wedding, the honeymoon, and even how many kids you plan on having.  They even look at you differently…with more respect? Ha.

The One in a LTR that is still not engaged.
You never thought you would feel bad for getting engaged. But, of course, there will always be that one person who just gets sad that you got engaged…before her. She will say congratulations maybe once or twice, but then talk about how she can’t wait for her day the rest of the time. She isn’t genuinely happy for you and you can see it on her face. It’s one of the happiest moments in your life, but she makes you feel like you ran over a puppy. She’s only been with her boyfriend for a month, but still looks at you like you have ruined her life by getting engaged. You’ll want to hang out with her, but will slowly stop wanting to since she will keep bringing up the fact that you’re engaged…but she’s not.

The Single, Independent one.
She is “happy for you” but tells you things like, “that’s awesome! But, I am so glad I haven’t met anyone yet because I am trying to focus on ME and MYSELF and MY CAREER, you know?” She basically makes it sound like your life has ended just because you are engaged and will be getting married. She repeats over and over again that she doesn’t need a man and that she can do bad all by herself. I am also independent and I can also do bad all by myself…I just now choose to share part of my life with someone else. This amiga makes you feel like having a ring somehow makes you less of a feminist and less independent. Girl, I am keeping my own bank account and still plan on getting my MBA…WE GOOD!

The Ride or Die.
Then there were the handful. There are those truly, genuinely, and undeniably happy people in your life. They are happy for you and are ready to support you. Whether you are engaged or married or have kids one day, they will always be there with a smile. They believe in your overall success and don’t ever question who you are because you have a ring on your left-hand ring finger.

Have You Gone Through A Similar Life Changing Chapter In Your Life? Do Share, Mujer!