Azuby Azucena Rasilla @ChroniclesofAzu

“When do we have to leave before we get kicked out…” those were the words that my Abuelita uttered mere minutes after CNN announced that Trump had secured way above the 270 electoral votes needed to become the next President.

Sitting in her wheelchair, and through her impaired speech (she is recovering from two strokes), my grandma came to the realization that the rest of her life was flashing right in front of her eyes. The uncertainty of whether to stay or go back to Mexico is something she will have to come to terms on January 20th, 2017. But I will not let her leave by herself. If she goes, I go too.

“Ay hija, para cuando nos tenemos que ir antes de que nos corran…”

It was not just my grandma’s life on the line, as each state bled red, my mind started racing, so many of my brothers and sisters were fearing for their future as much as my grandma, and I was. And so I broke down, my spirit was broken, my heart shattered.

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As the CNN newscasters read the results from each state, the rage took over. No, it was not a rage against Trump supporters, but rather I was (still am) furious at all those people who WASTED their vote on a third-party candidate. Florida, Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania were KEY, and the margin by which Trump won, was less than 1.5% in each state. In Florida alone, Trump won by merely 119,870 votes. 206,007 people voted for Gary Johnson, and 64,019 voted for Jill Stein. Had these 270,026 “Americans” stop and think about the consequences of their “protest vote,” Hillary would have won Florida. In Pennsylvania, she lost by 68,236 votes. Had she won these states; we would not be in this predicament of the disastrous dictatorship that lies ahead. Americans who went for a “protest vote” — you are much to blame for the tyranny that follows. You are as guilty for Trump as the white devils who worship him. EVERY VOTE mattered, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

I went to bed last night sobbing; I was trying to process the information from how each state played out. I do not know what time I fell asleep. When I woke up I pray that the election results were a nightmare, and the second I opened my Twitter feed I knew it wasn’t.

I showed up at the office late because I wanted to hear Hillary Clinton’s speech. Her words, her demeanor, grace and resilience after this horrific blow are admirable. As I was listening to her speech, I profoundly regretted having said at one point that she did not represent me. I was wrong, and for that I am sorry. Hillary represents me, a Brown woman from Oakland, one with immigrant blood flowing through her veins. Hillary has fought hard for ALL OF US, and America has let her down, just as much as it let President Obama down. As I was driving to work, still sobbing from listening to Hillary all I could think of was just how horrific Trump’s cabinet and his first 100 days are going to be.

He aims to cancel all and any executive order enforced by President Obama. The most prominent: DACA, which grants a two-year work permit to Dreamers. Over 500,000 of them will lose their permit and deportation protection. Syrian refugee program — Trump emphasized that he would implement a ban on all Muslims. Family medical leave for same-sex couples. The rights of our fellow LGBT brothers and sisters abruptly taken away. Repealing Obamacare. Over 20 million Americans will lose their insurance.

If fearing Trump was not terrifying enough, the potential members of his cabinet are what nightmares are made of.

Mike Pence — Roe vs. Wade, out the door. He signed legislation that demands that every aborted fetus receives a burial. He voted against every piece of legislation on climate change reform. In Indiana, he signed a bill allowing business owners the right to refuse service to the LGBT community citing religious beliefs. He is an avid supporter of “gay conversion therapy.” These abominations alone make me sick to my stomach.

Newt Gingrich is a potential candidate to be Secretary of State. He believes that life begins at “implantation.” He is against child labor laws. Gingrich believes that Sharia( Islamic Law) is a “threat.” He also opposes same-sex marriage.

Rudolph Giuliani as possible Attorney General. The 90’s political figure, the one who advocated gun control, gay rights, abortion rights, and immigration reform is LONG GONE. What we have in front of us, is a bigot, as much if not more than Trump. Disrespectful towards Hillary (who she once called “a nice lady.”)

Let’s not forget; Trump will nominate the next Supreme Court Justice. A right-wing conservative. One who will not stand for the rights of POC, women, LGBT, Muslims or immigrants. The catastrophic decision of appointing said Justice will affect generations to come.

If you have read this far, believe me, there is a glimpse of hope amongst the chaos.

I attended the #NotMyPresident protest held in Downtown Oakland. This movement took over multiple cities across the United States. In Oakland alone, it was estimated that over 7,000 people gathered to march. Do not let anyone fill you with hatred towards the protestors. I was there when it started. The early part of the protest was filled with activists, people with anti-Trump signs, and kids with their parents. All together, mourning and getting ready to fight. Sure, some anarchists broke out, but none of them were the organizers.

As we continue to mourn, and collect our thoughts on what follows I urge you to take ACTION. Donate to Planned Parenthood; there is a huge possibility that it will get defunded. Check out the White House’s Aid Refugees page. There are ways to donate and getting involved. Contact nonprofit organizations that help undocumented immigrants. Mission Asset Fund in San Francisco provides monetary assistance to Dreamers who cannot afford to pay for their DACA paperwork. Most importantly, DENOUNCE bigotry. If you see it, if you are a victim, do not stay hush! If it is on social media, screenshot the attacks and email the support team. If you are harassed at work, at school or on the street, DENOUNCE IT! The bigots and racists will not SILENCE US!

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Blacks, Browns, Gay, Lesbian, Trans, Muslim, Undocumented, Women, young people (my teenage siblings included who will be first time voters in 2020) — my brothers and sisters. I am with you. I love you; we are in this nightmare together, but we will prevail. We will defeat the Nazi dictator. Our voice, our strength, is greater than our fear.

Today we mourn, tomorrow we FIGHT!